file: /pub/resources/text/ProLife.News/1991: pln-0117.txt --------------------------------------------------------- ----------------------------------------------------------------------- Life Communications - Volume 1, No. 17 November, 1991 ----------------------------------------------------------------------- This newsletter is intended to provide articles and news information to those interested in Pro-Life Issues. Questions to readers and articles for submissions are strongly encouraged. All submissions should be sent to the editor, Steve (frezza@ee.pitt.edu). ----------------------------------------------------------------------- (1a) AN UNEXPECTED ABORTION EXPERIENCE This August, six weeks pregnant, my wife suddenly had a natural abortion (commonly known as miscarriage). I was not there when she went to the clinic. They recommended D&C, since if any tissue remained in the womb, there was the possibility of complications, including sterility. But, D&C would kill any living embryo, and they did not know whether it was already dead. This is the point where I, as the father had to play a role. I went in with my wife the next day, and we both met with the Obstetrician-Gynecologist. It is very hard to describe the roller-coaster of emotions we felt. We explained to the gynecologist that we would really like to be sure that the baby was deceased before any D&C. Unexpectedly, she (the gynecologist) was terribly sympathetic. "I guess you really really want to keep this pregnancy," she said. We explained to her that we accepted her diagnosis that the pregnancy could not be saved. (She evaluated the chances of saving the baby as "Zero," but Medical Zero is not the same as Mathematical Zero ...) Instead, the real issue was a moral one ... we wanted to know if the baby was still alive before undergoing a procedure that would definitely kill it. She tried to console us in all the standard ways, telling us that this event is very common, that sometimes a baby never develops, etc., etc. The purpose of this consolation was to trivialize the early stages of pregnancy so that we wouldn't feel like it was a big deal. It really didn't work; We had already accepted this baby as our next child. At times like this, it is useless to think, "I will go to my pastor, and he will tell me what is right." There's no time for that. You must already have a solid moral basis from which to make a decision. She agreed to do an immediate ultrasound, which showed that there was no "tissue" left, not even a placenta. So, the D&C was unnecessary. By making a fuss, and demanding more information, we had saved my wife an unnecessary procedure. Would a D&C have been morally justified? It is my opinion that it would have been, had no ultrasound been available. The moral principle here is "double effect" -- the purpose of the D&C was not to kill the embryo, but to prevent complications, and the secondary effect was to, with small probability, kill an embryo. But, had we done this, we would have spent the rest of our lives wondering. My mother had, for years, told me how she survived her miscarriage by going on a trip by herself right afterwards. We thus decided to proceed with our trip to Las Vegas, with three children, my mother, a friend, and his child. This did not work. A couple of days afterward, I found her crying. (My wife has cried a total of three times since I've known her!) I took off work, and sent her North by herself for three days. She went hiking in Yosemite with an old friend, and felt better. We are at peace now. We know that we did nothing wrong, and that the miscarriage was natural, God's will. But I am amazed at the amount of bonding we had with an embryo in just six weeks. - Anonymous - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - (1b) Editorial: THE POWER OF MOTHER-CHILD BONDING Prolifers often hear the phrase "When someone tells you that an abortion is a matter for the woman and her doctor - they're forgetting someone." Whenever I hear testimonies concerning abortions, it seems that those counseling someone who has had an abortion (natural or otherwise) try to forget that same someone. If we are to support women in carrying their children to term, we cannot forget that little someone, and the tremendous psychological effect that the little someone has on the mother; Mothers need support, they need concern, and they need to know, just as the `anonymous' testimony describes. The bonding is strong, and can have very lasting effects, especially if the wounds caused by its severance are not dealt with properly. I once heard a woman justify the destruction of her second child because of the pain she had experienced after she had given up her first child for adoption: "My life after losing my daughter was an emotional and spiritual devastation that no one prepared me for. I had heard about the emotional and spiritual trauma of abortion for years. ... Somehow, the decision to choose life was supposed to eliminate this consequence. ... Just six months into the devastating aftermath of adoption, I knew I could never choose adoption again. I chose to have an abortion at eight weeks."[1] Post-abortion counseling is needed because of that bond that is formed, and then broken. All mothers face this trauma when they loose a child, whether via the abortionist, to adoption, or otherwise. If we are to support a decision to spare a child's life, then we need to be aware of the power of the mother-child bond, and that it must be addressed. - Steve Frezza [editor] ----------------------------------------------------------------------- (2) BOOKS WORTH READING: I just picked up an interesting book called "More Than Kindness, A Compassionate Approach to Crisis Childbearing" by Susan and Marvin Olasky, which goes in depth into what pro-lifers are already doing to aid women with crisis pregnancies, and offers motivation for more pro-lifers to get involved. Perhaps recommending this book to people would help them know where to start and have the motivation to do it. Another book I've found just absolutely inspirational is "Third Time Around, A History of the Pro-Life Movement from the First Century to the Present" by George Grant. The book is about just what it says it's about, and it is to let pro-lifers know they have an incredibly rich history behind them, and thousands of simply outstanding heroes and heroines over the centuries to draw inspiration from. It shows that we have won the battle against abortion, infanticide, abandonment, and exposure at least twice before, and that only by following the methods our forefathers and mothers used can we hope to win it again this time around. One of biggest problems today is our own ignorance of our history, fostered I know by the loud pro-abortion culture which has taken it upon themselves to rewrite that history. - Suzanne Forgach ----------------------------------------------------------------------- (3) WHAT WORKS? Recently, I have been asked to try a column on tactics - that is, how we (those with a belief in the value of the unborn) can best express our views, and hopefully convince others of the truth that the unborn child is alive, deserving of a chance to live, and needs our help. The abortion mentality is extremely prevalent in our society, and myself and others are interested in sharing what has been effective in helping other people to see through the lies and to take a stand to support the innocent. If you have any thoughts, anecdotal experiences or ideas as to "What Works," please post them. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - What arguments, ideas, or rhetoric have worked for you in pursuading people? Personally, I have found arguing philosophy is pointless. I'm rethinking my rhetorical tactics. I'm going to try to work on posting as many disturbing images as I can: Things like executing pregnant women, live birth after abortion, etc.. I wanted to get feed-back on what has worked for you. - David Rasmussen - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - This is my favorite response, though it's tougher to make use of in conversation mode. It's called, "A Letter From The Future". I don't have it in any of my files now, or else I'd put it here. If you like, I can get it, though. The fictional letter is dated on the 50th anniversary of Roe v. Wade. It describes a woman who is going through some tougher times: working crazy hours, bills piling up, etc. She talks about her child, and how he is, "an unfair burden at this time in our lives." It goes on telling about how she's made "my choice", and has chosen infanticide. It has some gems: "We talked it over with our pastor, and though he would never do it himself, he said, ultimately, the choice is ours." "And please, Mom, don't give me the same grief Grandma gave you over your abortions. They're the same thing, you know." - Robert Chesnavich - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - [My own two cents:] Personally, I find that most `conversions' take time, and only occur as people slowly realize the truth and value of the unborn. This happens through many avenues, sometimes simply realizing the value of children, or perhaps a religious conversion is involved. In most cases it involves contact with people who are pro-life, reasonable, and not ashamed of their opposition to abortion. Constancy and integrity seem to be the most compelling attributes. - Steve Frezza [editor] ----------------------------------------------------------------------- (4) IN THE NEWS (Follow up) On the passage of "Initiative 120" in Washington State: Dr. Ralph Reed of the Christian Coalition said at the NC Christian Coalition that Initiative 120 was trailing by 6000 votes, but a recount was likely. [week of 11 November] - Ed Gehringer [A right-to-kill colleague of mine] says that 120 is now ahead by fewer than 100 votes, but that the remaining absentee ballots are from an area where they've been running 60-40 for 120. She also claims that we'll know by Wednesday. [20 November] - Larry Larmore ----------------------------------------------------------------------- (5) Reader Questions: Does anyone have an original copy of initiatives 119 & 120? One of my right-to-kill colleagues, who is on sabbatical at U. Washingtion, is claiming that the right-to-life folks grossly distorted the facts, and that, in particular, the statement that 120 would mandate that funding for certain abortion-related things would equal funding for birth-related things was an oft-repeated lie. In order to get at the truth, I need that full text, since any kind of summary is open to the charge of bias. Before an election in CA, every voter gets (among other stuff) a precise copy of the full text of the initiative. In fact, if the initiative changes any existing law, the full text of the law is sent out, with old stuff that the initiative would leave in regular text, with old stuff that the initiative would delete lined out (so that you can read it, though), and new stuff in italics. This is in addition to summaries, arguments, etc.. It's this that I want. - Larry Larmore (larmore@ucrmath.ucr.edu) ----------------------------------------------------------------------- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Quote Of the Month: "It is increasingly comming to the attention of helping professionals that abortion does not solve the original problem. It may solve the symptoms, but it confuses the problem." - Dr. Vincent Rue Associate Professor of Family Relations at California State Universisty at Los Angeles +---------------------------------------------------------------------+ | Credits: | |(2)- Quote taken from "An Open Letter To a Diocesan Priest" printed | | in Conscience Vol. XII, No. 3 May/June 1991, p. 4. | |QOM- from "A Counselor's View of Abortion," by Katherine Blewett of | | Catholic Twin Circle. | +---------------------------------------------------------------------+ Anyone desiring information on specific prolife groups, literature, tapes, or help with problems is encouraged to contact the editor. end v1n17 ------------------------------------------------------------